I am still around!

Its been a while since I have blogged.  Seeing I am child free today I thought that was the perfect oppourtunity to try to update without being interrupted!
I haven't really blogged because like I said before, how many times can you come in and say how awesome life is?
I feel fantastic, I am being told I look fantastic.  People I haven't seen for a while aren't recognising me.  I always read and heard stories of people saying friends they hadn't seen in a while walk straight past them in the street.  I never believed it could be possible.  I mean, after all, your still you right.  Well it seems not..  I am gettinga  good laugh at some things that happen.  People I haven't seen for a while not recognising me at all.  Asking others "Who's that girl?" hahaha
I am down to 72.2kg now. Think that makes it about 47kg I have lost.  The weight loss has really slowed down now though.  I haven't lost anything for a while.  But I feel fantastic, I am not worried at all.  If anymore comes off them so be it.

I have noticed I can eat a little more now.  No where near the amount I used to eat, but I can finish a sandwich now or a little more of my dinner etc.  This means I have to now keep a better eye on what I eat.  I don't want to end up back where I was.  Not that I could, but even putting on any weight would freak me out!

I caught up with an old work collegue last week.  She hadn't seen me for a very long time.  She asked others there who I was, when they told her and told her how much weight I had lost she replied "wow, you must have been huge" lol  Yep, I was.  BUT I still look at photos of me back then and can't believe it was me.  I just didn't feel that big.

My god daughter (god love her) saw a photo of my on my identification badge for work and said "you look like you are in a fat booth" PMSL.

My Surgeon told me "You look so good your making me hungry"  not sure exactly what it meant but I am sure it was a compliment. lol.  My dietician was very happy with me also.  I am doing everything right.

I am all ready for Christmas, I can't wait.  I remember Christmas Day last year I had lost exactly 20kg.  I thought I looked awesome then!  Wow I can't believe how far I have come!

CHRISTMAS 2010 99kg (20kg loss)

CHRISTMAS 2011 72kg



I touched earlier on the year on some exciting news I got.  It will now be happening sometime in the near year.  I am so very excited.  My story is being printed in my favourite magazine.  I can't wait to share my story with others and hopefully inspire someone else to make the decision to win the battle against the bulge.  I will definately let you k now when it happens.

Again I want to just say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me.  Sending me messages, commenting on my photos and blogs.  It means so much to me.  Thank you so much.

How Should I Celebrate?

Its coming up to 12 months since my surgery. Should I celebrate?  How could I celebrate lol.  I can't believe its been 12 months and I can't believe I am at where I am!  Back when I was looking into the surgery I read other peoples success and saw they lost this much weight in 12 months.  I thought that was amazing and would be great but never thought I would achieve it.I mean, gee I had tried for YEARS to lose weight.  There was no way I would have that success.
Well the proof is in the pudding.  I have and its incredible.
I can't believe how good I feel.  I keep catching glances of myself in a window or mirror and think, who is that person, that isn't me.  I look NORMAL!
I am loving being able to buy clothes in little specialty stores.  I am loving the cute little tops I can buy.  I am in a size 14 top now and 16 bottoms.  It feels crazy to me to be wearing those sizes.  I pick it up in the shop and think no way that will fit me!  And it does!
I have hit a plateau again.  But I really don't care.  I feel so good now.

My youngest turns 2 on wednesday, if you read my posts from this time last year, I was in the middle of my Optifast plan and was hanging for a piece of meat lol.
I got to taste that meat at the party, check out my photo

I just don't remember being that big.  Its crazy.

Anyway, its sunday morning and hubby is cooking a yummy breakfast.  So I am off to enjoy that then get ready for what the day will bring.

OMG I did it! 12 months today!

12 months ago today I started the Optifast diet.  This was a plan I had to do before surgery.  Before surgery you need to shrink your liver so the surgeon can do the surgery safely.  He needs to get behind the liver to operate on the stomach.
My goal weight was to get to 75kg by the Make A Wish Gala Dinner.  Sadly I didn't reach that but I hadn't been too bothered.  I feel fantastic so anything more is just a huge bonus.
Well today 12 months since I started I thought I  better weigh myself.
There was a bit of excitement at home this morning I almost forgot.  We have a huge storm going over and I was running around trying to make sure all windows were shut, kids were ok, things were unplugged etc.
Then I remembered what day it was.
So I jumped on the scales and squealed with delight.  I just can't believe it.
I have been talking to friends who, to me, are skinny minny's.  Absolutely gorgeous,  They tell me I weigh less than them.  I can't believe it!  No way do I have a body like theirs.  I feel a bit like the contestants on "How to look good naked".  You know where they line up a heap of women and the contestant goes and selects where her body fits in.  I would be so wrong if it was me.  Why is it I still see 120kg when I look in the mirror?
I have been looking at photos of me back at 120kg and I don't recognise myself.  Noone believes me that its me.  In a way it makes me kind of sad, its hard to explain.  But it makes me feel like that person no longer exists.  But I really liked that person.  She was a beautiful person.  She had 3  beautiful daughters, was a great mum, a great wife, a great friend.  Where is she now? 
This has been the most amazing 12 months of my life.  I can't believe the amount of weight I have lost.
I often think whether I could have done it without surgery by just eating the small amounts I eat now.  There is no way in hell!  If I would have been going on just 100grams of food each meal without surgery , I would have either killed myself or a mass murder.  And I know its to do with the Gland that releases the hormone Grenlin that controls your hugner levels etc.  Without that, I never feel hungry.

I can't thank everyone enough for their support, their words of encouragement, their compliments, even the looks of shock when people who at first don't recognise me then realise who I am.  That is actually quite funny. lol

This is just to amazing for words!

I'm an Inspiration

I can't believe it.  I never thought, me, Tracey, would ever be called or feel like an inspiration. 
I have had lots of people telling me lately but today it hit me and I believe it.
Since I have been losing weight I have had lots of people ask me about my surgery etc.  Nothing is off limits with me, I am happy to talk about everything infact, you won't get me stopped after I start!
I have had people who have had lap band surgery tell me they wish they had of had what I had done.  Some of them have had their friends speak to me about Gastric Sleeve Surgery rather than lap band. 
The last few weeks I have had a number of people really question me abou the surgery.  They have now booked in themselves!  I can't believe it, I can't believe that I am something people would want to aspire to be like.  Have the success I have had.  I feels amazing and I am just feeling so proud of myself.

I wish all of those people all of the best with their surgeries.  I have told them follow your surgeons and dieticians orders to the letter.  That is the only way things will work. 

I went to my first dress up party on the weekend.  WOW!  It felt so good to be able to get involved rather than throw a Sombrero on my head!  I felt amazing (a little over exposed with the amount of flesh I had showing lol).  I also can't believe the photos that it is me.  I am super impressed with my jaw line!  I have a chin!  Yes a chin, one single chin!!!  God I wish I had of done this years ago!

Check out the Jaw line!  No, not the chest, the jaw line! lol



I feel amazing, I can't believe my own transformation.  Not just my size but my outlook on life, my outlook on myself, my confidence and the belief in myself.  Finallly I feel worthy of my own love.



I was knocked out for a week!

I had my very first session with a Personal Trainer on Monday.  (For those of you following, today is now Friday, yes its taken me that long to be able to post!).
It knocked me out for a week.
It really hurt during the session.  But I just thought well that is what it is supposed to do!  I pushed myself as much as the PT pushed me.  I didn't want to look like a sissy!  My PT is my RPM trainer so she know's what kind of stamina I have (Its all just for show really!),  So she knew how far to push me.
And boy did she push me!  I was screaming and moaning like a girl towards the end.  At one stage I rested my legs for a split second.  My PT said "Do that again and we will start the set again"  OMG!  I had tears s treaming down my face, I was grunting and groaning.  And that was just taking a sip of water!
At one point my PT told me she has had people throw dumbells at her before during a session because they didn't like how hard she was pushing them.  I told her I didn't know how they would have the energy to do it.  I didn't even have the energy to flip her the bird!
So session over, it took me 20 minutes just to get off the floor. My PT had moved on to torture some other poor soul.  I had to get my 2 youngest girls out of the creche.  Somehow I then also had to drive them home.  I was on the verge of vomiting and I felt very dizzy.  I know I couldn't have vomited if I wanted to,  My stomach muscles had gone on strike anyway.  Either that or they had imploded!
So I drove home very weak and feeling very ill.  Got home got the girls sorted with morning tea and then put one of them to bed.
I then spent the rest of the day on the lounge.  I tried to drink a protein shake I had made up but I just couldn't stomach it!  As the day went on everything started to hurt, even my eyelashes.  I was still feeling weak.  Everyone kept telling me to have some sugar.  I went to get a lolly out of the lollly jar, but its on the top shelf of the cupboard to stop the kids getting into them.  I couldn't bloody reach them!  I couldn't lift my arms!  The rest of the day was a wipe out.  All I wanted to do was sleep .
Tuesday morning, HOLY MOTHER MARY & JOSEPH!  I couldn't move!  I screamed trying to get out of bed!  I had to get the youngest out of her cot, of all days, she chose today to jump out!  I screamed as I knew it was going to hurt trying to catch her and always at the thought that I was in too much pain to catch her.
I spent the rest of the day in absollute agony, I text my PT and asked her to come and brush my teeth as I couldn't even do that. She said "Welcome to the world of PT" lol. 
I had to take my oldest to school, that was intersting, trying to get in and out of the car,  I also threw in a quick trip to the shops.  BIG MISTAKE! BIG! HUGE!  The youngest decided to take off in the carpark.  Imagine if you will, me, muscles as sore as anything, trying to run, I looked like an ungraceful galloping horse.  I was screaming, she was laughing!  (note to self:  Kill her when I get my strength back and my teeth stop hurting).  My PT text's again to see how I am feeling.  I tell her I still hate her.  She says "I can live with that".  Yeah, you'll keep!
Thank god it was takeaway Tuesday! 
Wednesday morning, so much more relief!  Still sore but at least I can move without crying.  Everyone still laughing at me.  I get some grocery shopping done and some running around, but I'm back home again to take it easy.
I couldn't bring myself to go to the gym again yet.  I don't know if I can see my PT without bursting into tears or having my muscles run off in the other direction!

We went to the Gold Coast Bulletin Famous Party and Sea FM's no secrets Party last week.  Wow, what a fantastic weekend.  Hubby and I just had so much fun, so many drinks and not enough sleep!
We both scrubbed up alright too if I do say so myself!  It was so nice to be able to dress up glamorous.  I haven't done it in a very long time.  Infact I haven't done it with a body like this before!



We met lots of celebrities.  My favourite being Scott Prince , William Zillman and Kevin Gordon from the Gold Coast Titans.  But the best part of the night was the Photobooth.  What a brilliant idea.  I even took Scotty Prince in there with me! lol



Bring on the Sea Fm No Secrets party.  Another top night, lots of drinks, lots of fun.  And again, lots of glamour!

ME AND CHARLI ROBINSON (Formerly of HI 5)

Well best be off.  Seeing I have been out for the count all week, my house looks like a tip.  I also have to pack for another weekend away.  We are getting out trashy on this weekend.  Heading to a friends 80's themed 40th birthday party.  So excited. 

Oh, before I go, there is also something you should know (wow I am a poet and didn't know it!)  Scroll down for a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

KEEP SCROLLING

LITTLE BIT MORE

ALMOST THERE

40 KILOGRAMS GONE!!!

Thats right, I have lost 40kg thanks to this amazing surgery.

I now weigh 79kg.

Anything now is just a huge bonus.

Not much to report because I just feel awesome!

I haven't really updated much, nothing else to tell really except how good I feel!  If I came and posted here every day how awesome I feel then you would all get sick of it. (If you aren't already lol).

Met with some family over the weekend who haven't seen me in a while.  All they could do was stare at me and say "OMG Trace!"  They were very impressed.  Some didn't even recognise me lol.

I noticed I haven't had a drink for a while (alcoholic), I do like to have a drink here and there (no not get raving drunk but a drunk to wind down lol) I jsut haven't had one as if I drink I can't eat!  I know I gain more from the food so I save the room for that.

Still having cravings of course, really into Le Snack cheese & biscuits at the moment.  I know its the cheese I want but gotta have a cracker for it to go on.  Of course, can't completely give up the chocolate.  Also I am really into fish & chips. 
I always get comments from people "you shouldn't be eating that".  Well no, noone should.  But the fact is, I can, its the amount I eat that makes the difference.  Before for example, I would have fish, chips, calamari rings, seafood stick, prawn cutlets and maybe a potato scallop or 2 if I was still hungry!  Now I can have a couple of Calamari rings and some chips or a small piece of fish and some chips. 
Same as if I do some baking, people say " you shouldn't be eating that" well , I do have 4 other people in my house that I cook for also, its not all just for me.

I am on the hunt for a few outfits, going to a Glamorous party on Thursday night, so need to find a nice cocktail dress, then I am going to an 80's party next week so need to find something trashy!  Hehehe I am so excited.  NOrmally if I was invited to go to a Fancy Dress party I would throw a sombrero on my head,  Cause that is the only thing that would fit.  I am excited to be able to be one of the crowd now.

I'm so deleriously happy!

This is my OMG is that really me photo.  But not in the way you would expect.  I can't belive I am that small. 
YOu know when you read or hear stories of people who see a photo of themselves when they are really big and that is when they make the decision to do something about their weight.   I had the same reaction when I saw this photo but in a positive way.  I had to ask my mum if it was really me.  I just can't believe how much weight I have lost.
I am so happy with the way I look.  I know I still have a lot of weight to lose (at least 15kg) but I am just happy now!  I am buying clothes off the rack, I can shop in an op shop!  (which I will say, I have to do as its costing so much in new clothes!).  I can't describe how excited I was to shop in an opshop for the first time.  I got 3 pairs of shorts for $4-$6 each!

I went to Dreamworld on the weekend.  I went on rides I had never been on before. Because I was too big before.  I had the best day!  It was so much fun!  I even went on the swing chairs!!  Never before would I have gone on, I would have been too scared the chains wouldn't be strong enough to hold me.

Oh and I met Brian McFadden there too lol!  I was so excited, I was shaking and my heart was racing!  I am surprised I didn't pee my pants lol.

He was so lovely.  He was happy to stop and smile for a photo.  What a great guy!

Dietician very happy.

Had a dietician appointment this week.  The appointments get fewer as time goes on.  Especially now that I am showing that I am doing so well.
My Dietician asked me if I was going to a photo shoot later in the day.  I had made an effort to dress up that morning.  Nice new skinny jeans and stiletto boots.  And of course my gorgeous leather jacket that I want to sleep in!
I felt great!  To hear this professional also tell me she is very happy with my progress and she is going to write to my surgeon to tell him how well I am doing, just makes me feel great.
My dietician was very happy to hear that I have learnt what I can and can't eat.  I have learnt that carbs will fill me quicker, if I eat the carbs, I won't get the protein that I need.  So now I really make concious decision when choosing what I eat.  For example, Sushi, I pick the ones with the least amount of rice, or even, just don't eat the rice.  Pizza, I eat the topping etc.  I really love my meat and the dietician said that is great as that is what is helping the rapid weight loss.
Don't get me wrong, I am still having naughty things, but compared to the amount I used to have its ok.  I still have the odd drink of coke, here and there.  I have really become addicted to Caramel Latte's.  I don't "drink" alot through the day.  I have to choose, eat or drink lol.  So depending on the day and how I am feeling.
I am getting compliments left right and centre!  Its very flattering!  I am really not used to it.
Wasn't recognised at our monthly Make-A-Wish meeting this week!  I hadn't been for 2 months.  So yes there was probably a bit of a difference lol.  It was quite funny.  Seeing someone say hello to you that you have known for 13 years but they look at you like they have met you for the first time.
I really can't wait to get my hair back to my Natural colour.  At the moment I feel like a Bogan, huge regrowth showing lol.  I liked being blonde but I just don't like how the regrowth shows so much on me.  So hopefully back to being a Brunette soon.

'In the end.... what we regret most are the chances we never took"

Why do I let people bring me down?

I had a melt down moment.  I'm not proud of it.  Someone who means nothing to me made me feel worthless.  Why did I let him do it?
We were out to dinner and I was feeling absolutely fantastic about myself.  A friend of a friend who I had only met for the first time made a joke that he "DISLIKED" the compatability score between he and I.  (Stupid game we used to play as kids where you put your name Loves insert name here.  Then you cross out how many L's, O's, V's, E's S's etc.  Which gives you a percentage.  (some of you may be too young to know what I am talking about lol).  Well my name was included with his and he made a big song and dance that he disliked it.  It really pissed me off at first.  Who the fuck are you!  As if I have any interest in you anyway.
But then in the car home I really got upset.  Now thinking about it, I think the past week was just brought to a head thanks to that.  I had had a hell of a week with sleeping and my kids being sick.  One child had been diagnosed with suspected Whooping Cough.  So you can imagine how much stress I had been under. Then the doctors picked up an irregular heartbeat in her.  Well it was the week from hell.  I was so extremely tired and emotional that I cried for hours.  I actually didn't get any sleep at all.
It really made me angry that I let a stupid little game upset me so much.  But I really hope it got to me so much because I was so emotionally on edge anyway.
Or is it because I feel I want everyone to like me?  I've always thought I don't give a shit what people especially those I will never see again, think of me.  This is why I think it was just the emotions catching up with me.

Hahah had a blonde moment also this week (again I blame tiredness & my bad hair colour lol).  I for some reason thought I had to be 81.9kg to have lost 40kg.  I was 82.3kg on Thursday and thought I was soooo close.  Friday morning I weigh myself, I am 80.9kg.  OMG!  I did it I scream.  I've lost 40kg!  Just to make sure I get the calculator out.  What the hell was I thinking!?  Should have stayed at school that extra year longer I think lol.  I have no idea how I came up with the result that I would be 40kg lighter if I got to 81.9kg.  I just don't know lol!  turns out, I have 1.8kg to go.  Thanks to the trusty calculator.   So its close!

Finally now that everyone in the house is well again (touch wood) and school goes back this week, I may be able to get some exercise in again.  I haven't been to the gym for a month!  I am surprisingly missing it too.  Will edge back in slowly.

I have to share something I find very inspirational with you.  My friend Stephanie was on Today Tonight on friday night.  Stephanie has suffered terribly with insults from ignorant people because of her size.  I have been fortunate enough to not suffer anywhere near as many taunts as she has.
She told her story to Today Tonight and I am so proud of her for standing up and being counted.  I don't know what gives people the right to think they can degrade people they way they do.  When it all comes down to it, fat, thin, black, white, tall, short, we are all human.  We should respect each other no matter what. 
Steph has set herself a challenge to walk 46 flights of stairs at the building she works at.  I would love it if you could please sponsor her and help her raise money for the Cancer Council.
Check out Steph's blog: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.movingforwardlookingforward.blogspot.com%2F&h=kAQDl-_p2

Cancer Council Link: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fvic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au%2FpersonalPage.aspx%3FregistrationID%3D342014%26langPref%3Den-CA&h=UAQDnk6Ts

Today Tonight Link: http://au.todaytonight.yahoo.com/article/9811238/none/obesity-humiliation

You will not believe the comments she has received from some people on her blog.  You will be gobsmacked!

Should have done it!

My Sister In Law Jac is doing the Gold Coast Marathon on Sunday.  I really had an interest in doing it but thought it would be way too hard.  I haven't been to the gym in over 3 weeks (kids sick and me sick) so I am not feeling very fit at the moment.  So I didn't apply.  But now I really wish I had of.  It would have been great for me.  It isn't that far really.
I am feeling so crap because I haven't been to the gym.  Hopefully I can get back next week.  Fingers crossed all the kids will be well again.
I bought a pair of skinny jeans this week.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a huge belly so I will be wearing long tops over them.  But I was so sick of the legs of my pants flapping in the breeze.  I've been wearing size 18 because it fits around my belly comfortably, but the legs are just too big.  I can't wait to wear my new jeans.
I have decided to go back to my natural hair colour.  I am not liking the blonde.  MOre so the regrowth look lol.
I won a family pass to dreamworld last weekend.  I am so excited to think I will be able to go on the rides with my girls now.  I normally stand back and watch the bags. 
I haven't been eating the best.  Been eating lots of choccie biscuits (well more than I should be).  I am also really really craving protein.  I could eat the side of a cow!

Somebody Pinch me because I think I am dreaming PART 2

Making a mad dash in the rain in our gorgeous $3 poncho's, we headed back to our hotel to beauitfy ourselves for our night out.  We also started the drinking!  I really needed a burst of energy so we were drinking Vodka and Redbull.

All prettied up and hair straightened we were ready to head out.  We Note to all, never trust Leesa with directions!  We were looking for 345 but we ended up magically at 534 Kent street.  Thanks Leesa!  So we basically paid $20 to do a lap of the city lol!  We started to head back by foot in the right direction but just knew we wouldn't make it in our shoes so we hailed another cab.  Even the driver was sceptical about having to do a trip around the block.  We told him unless he was going to swap shoes with us then he was taking us!  SO another 20 odd minutes stuck in traffic we finally made it.  Well sort of lol!  Still had to walk back a bit further again.  We finally made it to the Meriton hotel where Leesa's workmates were waiting.  There we had more drinks, a few photos a few laughs and then we were off.  It had started raining so Leesa and I and one of the other girls decided to catch a cab (halfway back to where we had just come from lol) .  We waited in the laneway to the Ivy (you wouldn't even know this place existed, there is no signage or anything!).  We walked straight up to the door past the line up and gave them our names, we were in!  We went straight up to the Pool bar, which was absolutely crazy, it was pouring raing lol!  But we were there.  A drink and a shot each then we decided to head down to the other bar.  
I had an amazing time, I danced my butt off!  I didn't care less what anyone thought of me, as far as I  was concerned, I looked hot!  I met some lovely people, friends of Leesa's.  We had a great night.
I had a few drinks bought for me which has never happened before.  I felt amazing.
We got back to the hotel after 3am.  Leesa and I just had the best night.  We were in hysterics.  Leesa wanted a Kebab, I said ok lets go get somethign to eat, I wanted a whopper with cheese (not that I could eat it all but I was cravign it).  I got up and started to get dressed again, only to then hear Leesa snoring.  Lol
I jumped back into bed only for Leesa to call our again she wanted a Kebab.  I told her well you get up and get dressed tehn I will.  lol
We finally passed out, woke at 8am.  I won't be booking the same room again, it spins.  I didn't like that feature.  It didn't make me feel very well at all. (It had nothing to do with the vodka and red bull and Tequila shots!).
I got up and had a shower, then got back into bed.  I had to set my alarm as I knew if I didn't we would sleep through check out.
We were ready to go, still drunk!  We checked out and headed towards the station.  We both needed to eat so we split up, Leesa went to MacDonalds, I went to Hungry Jacks.  I ordered my whopper with cheese and went and sat down.  All I could do was look at the burger, I couldn't bring myself to eat it.  I felt very very seedy.  My hubby rang to see how my night went.  We had a chat for a bit.  By the time I hung up , all I could do was throw the whopper in the bin.  I couldn't even take a sip of the water I had.
Now you may remember me talking about getting some chocolates for my eldest daughter.  I tried to think of every excuse I could give her to get out of getting them, I just didn't think I could walk through circular quay.  I just couldn't do that to her so I got up and started walking, remember, I am still drunk, in high heels with feet that I could just cut off they are so sore, dragging my VERY heavy suitcase in the rain! I walk around circular quay and finally I can see the sign for the chocolate shop. Guess what the chocolate shop is called.  "Guylian"!!!  Yes, the same friggen shop I had sat in 2 days earlier that was right down stairs from our hotel!   I couldn't believe it!  But all I can do now is laugh!
I purchase the chocolates, $22 worth!  (I was so out of it I just told her to make me up a bag!) and then I head back to the station.  Finally I make it onto the platform where I find a near dead Leesa.  Turns out she couldn't eat her McDonalds either lol!  We boarded the train and both sat there for the entire trip like 2 drunk bag ladies. 
Finally we made it to our destinaton, Leesa was picked up by her husband and I was picked up by my Step mother.
Finally I see my family after 12 months.  I was so happy to see them.  My brothers seem to have changed.  Its so nice to finally catch up.

My dad is out at work referring soccer so I don't see him until later.  When I do see him for the first time in 12 months, his reaction "your looking healthy".  I take that as he is happy with what I've done lol.
I am given my birthday present from Dad and my stepmum, its an absolutely gorgeous Pandora Bracelet.  I am blown away.  Never ever would I have ever thought I would have a Pandora bracelet.  And it fits!  Normally any jewellery for me has to be resized.  I also get a gorgeous photo frame clock.

Its a very relaxing afternoon, after the huge couple of day's I've had its the best I can do.  My step mother offers me a bath to soak in.  Bliss!  Then its into my warm PJ's and a bit of quiet time.  I then head to bed, I don't hear a peep until 9am the next morning.  Heavenly!
Its a cold and miserable day, its another veg out day infront of the tv in my PJ's.  My step mother and I watch "Get him to the Greek"  very funny movie.  I then realise its nearly time for me to leave so I decide to change out of my Pyjama's and repack my bag.
Its time to head to the airport, dad takes me in.  I phone Jase to tell him I'm at the airport, tell him I'll see him and my girls soon.  I can't wait.
The flight was one of the worst I have experienced.  We had really bad turbulence.  The plane shook and bounced that much that other passengers screamed.  I may have but I didn't hear it.  The lady next to me offered me her hand to hold lol.  (I will just say that was for her comfort).  We end up chatting the rest of the flight home.  I try to sell her tickets to our Make A Wish Gala Dinner. lol  always working!
We land safely and I walk out to the carpark to find Jase conveniently stopped at the crossing.  I go to jump in but he jumps out to give me a kiss.  Seems he missed me too.
We get home after a little detour of car swapping etc then get the girls from my mother in laws.  They are so excited to see me, they come running out of the house squealing "MUMMY!"  Its a really nice welcome home.
Back home now and everything is back to normal.  Dealing with housework, screaming kids that won't sleep, cold etc.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I had an amazing weekend, I will never forget it. 
Plus I weighed in while I was away and thanks to the bout of gastro I had the first few days, I lost another 2 kilos!  I am now down to 83kg!

Somebody pinch me because I think I am dreaming. PART 1

What an amazing weekend.  It feels like it was all a dream.  I am definately back in reality now. 

My weekend started with me being ill.  I picked up a gastro virus on the wednesday.  Flying out friday morning I was very scared of how I would go on the plane.  I have shares in Gastro stop even though it doesn't work!

My wonderful mother dropped me at the airport, I felt like a million dollars.  I got myself a powerade as I hadn't eaten much at all the last 2 days and wanted to get some hydration.  I boarded the plane and settled in.  I had a nice chat to the lady next to me on the plane.  I ended up giving her and her family the Make A Wish Gold Coast Gala dinner flyers.  Told them all about it and have hopefully sold some tickets!  I enjoyed time to read a magazine and just relaxed as much as I could.

Arrived in Sydney, phoned everyone at home to tell them I made it.  I met my friend Leesa down on the trainstation platform.  We caught a train into Circular Quay where our accommodation was.  We stayed at the Old Sydney Holiday Inn at The Rocks.  A nice hotel right down the very end of George Street.  We had a nice little room.  Best of all, I noticed a bath in the bathroom!  I put my name down for that straight away! (we only have a shower at home!).

Minutes later another friend turned up.  Bec and her family had driven down from the Entrance to see us. We headed to the pub just downstairs for a drink and some hot chips and gravy.  It was bloody cold in Sydney.  Had a nice catch up.  Rebecca had to leave.  Leesa and I went for a little walk through the markets that were set up in The Rocks.  lots of beautiful things.  We decided to have a fairly quiet night due to doing the bridge climb the next day.  We decided we would go to the movies.

Before the movies we walked up to Pitt Street Mall where Leesa needed to find an outfit to wear.  That absolutely killed!  We weren't wearing the best shoes to be walking marathons in lol.  Had a little walk around the shops, it then started to rain, we used our brains and caught a cab back to our hotel.

We went to the Guylian Chocolate Cafe down stairs from our hotel and had a hot chocolate.  That was devine.  But I was too scared to drink too much of it thanks to my upset stomach.  I told Leesa to not let me forget I had to go to the chocolate shop on the other side of Circular Quay before I left as my eldest daughter had asked me to bring her home a chocolate from there . (she has been spoilt one time before on a Sydney trip by my friend Caroline).  Leesa suggested me getting the chocolates they had in this cafe but I was adament I wanted to get what my girl wanted and that was at the other chocolate shop.

We then got ready for the movies.  Caught a cab back up George Street.  Had a drink before the movie.  We went and saw Bridesmaids.  I don't think I had ever been to the movies with my best friend before so it was really nice to do that together.  The movie was sooo funny.  We just laughed so much.

I still had a funny tummy so was rushing back and forth to the toilet.

After the movie we caught another cab back to the hotel, we decided to do a litle walk of the markets and grabbed something to eat.  Leesa had raved about something called Goz (Turkish food) so I had to try it.  It was so yummy, actually something Iwould have normallly eaten alot of!  Its like a turkish bread that has filling inside (we had mince, spinanch and cheese).  I could only eat a small amount, I was still wary of how my stomach would cope.

We went back to the hotel where I ran myself a bath and had a nice long soak.  It felt like heaven!  We had a fairly early night after that and a nice little sleep in. 
On waking I was determined to not let my upset stomach ruin the bridge climb so I went for a walk to a chemist where they gave me some Immodium and said I could take 2 before the climb and that should help.  I did that.
I walked around the markets a little and had a chat to some of the stall holders, told them all about the Make A  Wish Gala Dinner.  Hopefully I may have picked up some more Auction prizes!
Went back to the hotel to find Leesa ready to go so we went to find something to have for breakfast.  We really needed to eat before our climb and get some energy.
I ordered a ham & cheese omlette and a side order of mushrooms, just something I was really craving!  Well it came out and it was absolutely huge.

So as you can see from the photo, I didn't eat much lol!  What a waste! 

It was then time for us to head up to the BridgeClimb.  The excitement set in!  I was all giggly!  We checked inand were put on a climb 10 minutes earlier.  Everything is run so smoothly and like clock work.  You move from each section with precision and professionalism.  You sign your life away, oops I mean your agreement to climb, you are breathalised, then you walk through to be given your jumpsuit and pants.  Super Stylish I must say!  Then next you move to the lockers where you are then given safety straps for your glasses and hats etc.
Your then taken through a metal detector and then walked around to the training area.  THere you are kitted up with your belt that has your connection cable attached.  Your given a radio and headphones so you can hear the climb leader at all times, your given an extra jumper and raincoat.  Everything is attached to you.  Your even given a handkerchief that is attached to your wrist. 
Its now time for the climb, you head through a tunnel and then along the underside of the  bridge.  You climb some very straight ladders and then yoru at the bottom of the arch.  You can't help but just want to stop and look around, the view is amazing!  You may have seen the same view millions of times but from the bridge, its just magical.  Your given 2 hours on the bridge.  You move up in sections.  Finally when you reach the top the Climb leader lets out a cheer to let you know.  We all erupt on cheers and applause.  I cry.  I cry for what I have achieved with the climb but mostly for what I have achieved getting here.  I am just so proud of myself.  All I could think was that I wanted to just jump up and down and squeal with excitement!  I was proud of Leesa, she has a fear of heights.  She did fantastic, you wouldn't have even known.  I was so happy to have shared this moment with her.  Its something we will always have together. 
Along the way the climber takes lots of photos of you.  I want to buy every one of them to make sure this is actually happening. 
We start our climb down and right at the bottom I start to get the shakes in my legs.  I knew it wasn' tnerves because if it was, it should have hit me 2 hours ago lol.  The climb leader tells me its Lactic Acid releasing due to all the stair climbing.  That tells me I am really going to feel it tomorrow!
We make our way back into the building of the climb where it all started and we start to take everything off.  Again, everything works like clockwork.  It has to, groups leave ever 10 minutes and nothing is left to chance.  We are given a feedback form to fill in.  I just can't praise them enough.  Our leader was funny, professional and caring.  He even came up to me while I was crying up the top and gave me a cuddle and a pat on the back.  He has been doing it for 11 years yet it sounded like the stories he was telling were the first time he told them.  He was so enthusiastic.
It was time to come back down to reality.  All Leesa and I wanted to do was Celebrate.  We headed back to The Rocks, had another look around the markets (they kept changing store holders) and then decided we really needed to get some lunch.  So we walked back to Circular Quay and found a nice cafe where we orderd a Nacho's to share as we were both really craving it.  The rain came over and we couldn't believe the difference in the change compared to when we had juts done our climb.  We sat and stared at the bridge.  I just kept looking and thinking, did I relaly do that. 

We sat at people watched for a while, we didn't want to go back in the rain and get our straightened hair wet lol.  Then we decided we better head back to the hotel and get ready for our night out!  We were going to The Ivy!

Happy Birthday to me!

ME AT MY BIRTHDAY 2010

MY BIRTHDAY 2011 (with my mum)

Wow!  What a difference 12 months makes!  I can't believe how different I look.  Look at the puffiness in my face last year!  I've just been transformed.

What an amazing birthday I had this year, completely wipes out last years birthday!  First of all I planned a lunch with some friends and family on the day as last year I spent the day sitting on my own crying.  So I refused to do that this year.  I had a lovely lunch, was very spoilt.  Great company.  Then I received a phone call to say I had won a Notebook computer!  What a fantastic day!  That night I spent with the most beautiful people in the world, my hubby and 3 daughters and we had Thai for dinner (glass noodle salad for me) and then Freddo Icecream cake (my favourite!).  A beautiful night!

I thought my birthday was all over and done with for the year.  Until Saturday!  Hubby told me on Friday he was taking me somewhere special on Saturday.  We were to drop the kids at my mums.  He didn't tell me where we were going or anything.  He joked he was taking me to Palazzo Versace Hotel, I knew that wasn't possible as we couldnt' afford it plus I had nothing to wear there! lol

I got dressed, tried to look as nice as possible.  Put on my HOT heels.  Got thrown right off the track when we stopped to buy bait! lol!

Got to my mums place only to walk in and have 50 odd of my closest family and friends standing there calling out "Surprise!".  I couldn't belive it!  I was in shock, couldn't stop shaking and just didn't know what to do next. 
I had an amazing afternoon, again was very spoilt.  SO much love in the room all for me.  I am just so happy.

My daughter and my mum had put it all together, it looked beautiful, so much food and it was just such a nice surprise.

I'm off to Sydney this weekend to complete the celebrations.  I just can't wait!

This been an amazing birthday. 

Thank you to everyione who made it so special!  love my family and friends with all my heart.

xxx

I did it! With a week to spare!

I reached my 2nd goal weight!  Infact, I smashed it! 
I wanted to be 85kg by the time I went on my Sydney trip away (June long weekend).  Yesterday on my birthday I checked my weight.

A PHOTO SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS!

I am just so over the moon.  Anything else from here on in will just be a bonus.  I feel fantastic, I know I look great.  I have so much energy and I am so full of confidence now.

I have set myself a new goal, I want to lose 10kg in 15 weeks.  This will being me to 74.6kg.  I am attending the Make A Wish Gala Dinner on 17th September, it is also mine and my sexy hubby's 9th wedding anniversary weekend.  So that is my new aim.  IF you saw what I looked like at last years Ball and our wedding anniversary, it will show you how far I have come.

Me, Flossy the Make A Wish Fairy & Jase



This was about 2 weeks before I started the optifast and 6 weeks before my surgery.

Today is a bit warmer so I pulled out something a bit cooler to put on.  NOTHING FITS!  Lol I will be having to hit the shops again before summer.  Everything is falling off me, even the first pair of boardshorts I ever owned!  Its just crazy!

I was lucky enough to go to Crossroads yesterday while they were having their 70% off sale.  I got a gorgeous leather Jacket, and another jacket and 2 tops.  I've never had a nice jacket to wear.  Its going to be great for Sydney!  I am just so so sexcited about my trip.  I can't wait to see everyone.  I'm going to miss my hubby and my babies, but it will be good for all of us!  Especially if I get to have a sleep in! lol

Just keeps getting better!

I'm way under the maximum weight limit to go on the slide at a local playhouse cafe! lol.  Might not seem like much to some.  But I was determined to get under 90kg so I could go on the slides again.  I hadn't thought anything more about it for a while until I went there again today.  I was watching the kids and my youngest was having trouble climbing up.  I thought to myself, oh I can't help her, I can't go up there.Then I saw the sign "90 KILO MAX" and thought, OMG yes I can!  I am under that!  I couldn't get my shoes off fast enough.
So we spent a few hours going up and down the slide, the girls were in fits of laughter!  I am exhausted!
I did a RPM class (spin ) at the gym before we got there so was already feeling tired.
I ordered our usual chips & gravy, I was so looking forward to them!  They have the yummiest gravy.  So I sit down to have some, I eat 2 chips and I start to feel ill.  I find I normally cant' eat fora  while after an RPM class.  So that was all I had :(  better for me in the long run I know but still!

Ok Who are you and what have you done with Tracey?

I am really not recognising this person that I am today.  I love going to the gym!  I am doing things at the gym I would have kicked and screamed to stop myself from having to do! 
As I am doing the Sydney Harbour Bridge climb in June I thought I best start trying to prepare my body in some way.  I don't know exactly how hard its going to be but I know its going to be hard.  So I have decided to do some training.  I thought maybe a bit of the stepper and the treadmill on a steep incline might help.  Yesterday I jumped on the stepper and went in with the idea of doing about 10 minutes.  10 minutes in I was feeling really good so thought I would push for 15, 30 minutes later I had done 87.1 flights of stairs!  I then did 20 minutes on the treadmill.
Today I did 10 minutes on the stepper before RPM and I feel great.  I even feel like going back tonight and doing Zumba.  WHO IS THIS PERSON???

I bought my first pair of Jeans last week. They are a size 18.  I wore them out on Saturday night and god I felt good!  With my new sexy heels, I felt hot!
The scales have finally moved again.  Total loss is 33.1kg.  I am 1kg off my 2nd goal weight.  Three weeks to go until I need to be at 85kg.  Anything after that will just be a bonus.  I can't imagine anymore than that coming off but if it does, that will just be amazing.

I have a had alot of people asking me more questions about the surgery, the process, the healing, the results.  It great to be ablet o share my knowledge with those.  I can't recommend the surgery enough.  If you have tried everythign else, like I had.  I wish I had of known about it years ago.

Who's your yummy Mummy? I am, that's who!

I freakin won!  I am B105 Brisbane's Yummy Mummy!  I can't believe it and I can't thank my friends and family enough for voting for me!
I never thought I had a chance!  Not with all the boobs in all the other photos!
I can't believe it!  I won $2000!  Wish I could rub it into the face of the horrible person who tried to get me disqualified!  I am a regular comper, I know how to check and follow Terms & Conditions! 
I am going to pay for my bridge climb with the money, pay a few bills and maybe book a trip to Melbourne! 
After all the names I have been called over the years, I never thought "yummy mummy" would be above my name.  BUt it is! 
I had my hair coloured last week.  I have always wanted to try being a blonde.  So I went for it.  I don't like it! :(  I know its going to take a few goes to get it to the nice platinum colour, but right now, it seems yellow to me.  I go back in 5 weeks to get the regrowth done etc, so hopefully it will tone it down a bit then.

ME AND MY BLONE HAIR AND MY MUM

The scales have only moved slightly again.  Only half a kilo in 2 weeks.  So that makes it 32.5kg.  I have 1.6kg to go to reach my 2nd target.  That is to be 85kg by the time I go to Sydney.  That is a month away so fingers crossed I can do it.
Had a lovely mothers day yesterday.,  Was very spoilt as usual.  Got a nice breakfast and cuddles in bed.  Managed to eat a quarter of a pancake with maply syrup and cream.  Didn't have room for my cup of tea after that.
Had a nice bbq lunch at my mums with her.  Very yummy salad and meat.  Also managed to drink almost a bottle of moscato.  Yum!
By the time we got to my mother in laws, I was ready for bed.  Didn't really have any room left to eat but I did pick at a bit of the baked ham.  I loved the glazed part that is a little bit over cooked.  Thats my favourite part of any meat! (and vegies for that matter)
Didn't have any room for dessert or even my last glass of wine.  But I was satisfied. 

Well off to finish the housework before hubby gets home, been fighting my youngest all morning to get her to have a sleep.  She has started climbing out of her cot again.  THeres a work out walking up and down the hallway 1000 times a day!

Found some photos to share

Well how do you like them apples!

Wooot Woooot!  The scales moved, they moved I tell ya!
I have no lost 31.9kg  I am so happy.  I am 87.2kg.  Thats a normal persons weight isn't it?  If someone told me they were 87.2kg I would think they were gorgeous!  So now I am starting to think of myself that way!  I am feeling fantastic.  Even entered myself in a yummy mummy competitions.
http://www.b105.com.au/shows/labratcamillaandstav/galleries/yummy-mummy-2011/1-100?selectedImage=56

Click on the link to vote for me, you can vote 5 times DAILY.  I am entrant #57.

I have been feeling so fantastic, infact, loving myself sick!

But there is always someone who will try to bring you down.  Good Friday I went to pick up our fish & chips we were having for lunch.  Waiting to cross the road and this car flew past and the passenger lent out and screamed so loud out the window "FAT FUCK" (Well that is what I assume he said, imagine a car doing 80 odd kms and you get screamed at.)  I just gave him the bird.  I mean what else can you do?  He's obviously not that intelligent so any big words would have just confused him.
Makes you think, what makes people think they have the right to treat people like that.  I have been reading a friends blog who has had lap band surgery.  She is getting comments like "your huge" and "People should learn to eat properly and exercise then they wouldn't need this kind of surgery".  Seriously, who do you think you are.  Do you even know these people?  You have no idea what is going on in their private lives, what got them to the position they go to to have such drastic surgery.  What about a little bit of encouragement that they are doing something about it.  Oh and don't you love that they post anonymously!  Gutless wonders!  I just remind my friend that they obviously have bigger issues going on in their lives and this is their way of making themselves feel better.

I have said before, I never really noticed any discrimination against me for my size.  Yes I got the odd dickhead make a comment but I never really had the stories I hear others with obesity tell.
I can tell you one thing, I have noticed I am being reated better though.  I used to always be nice to people, they were nice to me.  Now, people are going out of their way to be nice to me.  I have been flirted with by male sales people.  Before they wouldn't even serve me!  I couldn't believe it when it happened.  I got all tongue tied and nervous lol.  Made me feel amazing though!  I mean, everyone likes to know they've "still got it". hehehe!

Well its Easter Sunday.  Our house is bursting at the seams with chocolate.  Yummmm chocolate.  I have had some, my god I feel so sick after the smallest amount.  I would have eaten all my eggs by now hehehe.

Will sign off wishing you all a wonderful and safe easter.  Be kind to others, and ignore those that can't be kind to you.

No motion in the ocean

The scales aren't being very friendly the last few weeks.  Infact I gained 900grams.  My dietician tells me its not fat, its fluid.  Especially because I have been sick, my body is retaining fluid.  Also its muscle because I have been going to the gym.
So this week I lost 800grams, (of the 900grams I gained).  I have lost 20cm all over in the last month.
I have been feeling very constipated / bloated the last couple of weeks.  I have been "going" but not satisfyingly if that makes sense.  Still feel crappy (pardon the pun) etc.  So a few glasses of Metamucil has got things moving.
I did my first step class at the gym this morning.  It was actually alot of fun.  I wasn't as uncoordinated as I thought I would be.  I wasn't as fast and as bouncy as the others in the class but I still kept up and got the steps right.  The instructor was doing my head in a bit.  She had just got back last night from her trip to Fiji.  So every 5 minutes she kept saying she was on Fiji time.  I am happy for her that she got a trip away and I am sure I would be feeling the same first day back but cheese and whiskers!
Its school holidays.  Going to make it a little harder to get to the gym.  Can't afford to pay for the three of them to go to the creche.  And the gym is going to be shut a fair bit over easter.
I have decided I would like to do the Sydney Harbour Bridge climb.  I saw Magda Szubanksi (sp) did it on A Current Affair.  What an inspiration.  If she can do it, I can do it!  We are the same size.  So depending on funds, I am going to try to do it the weekend I am down in Sydney in June.  I just need to make enquiries.

Keep em crossed

One thing I have noticed I am able to do now.  I am able to cross my legs and sit like a lady.  Not that ankle on the knee like a man cross, a lady like over the knee cross.  I find myself doing it all the time now.  I know varocous veins etc but wow!  It might seem trivial to some but its a big accomplishment.  All these things you can't do when your overweight. 
I am feeling awesome.  I know that sounds conceited.  But I do, I feel beautiful.  Especially when I am done up and have some nice clothes on.  I can't stop taking photos of myself.  I can't stop looking at those photos.
I entered a yummy mummy comp!  I would never have done that 6 months ago.  I do have alot more weight to lose but I am so proud of what I have achieved so far.  I wanted to share that with the world.
The scales haven't moved in 2 weeks.  That is very disheartening.  But I know it will happen.  I have finally gone back to the gym after 2 weeks of kids/me being sick.  Either they are sick so I can't take them to the creche, or I am sick and just don't have the energy.  So been back into it for 2 days. 
I can't believe I am jogging on the treadmill.  I never jog!  I never run!  But I am giving it a go.  I run for a minute then walk for a minute etc.  I do 30 minutes on the treadmill.    I also do 10 minutes on the cross trainer and 10 on a bike.

There are no losers, there are only people who give up

Never been here before

Wearing size 16 clothing that is! 
I was given a size 16 top by my Mother in Law for Christmas last year.  When she gave it to me we all had a laugh and I told her maybe one day I would fit it.  Well that one day was yesterday! 
I am really struggling to find things to wear, nothing fits properly.  I found my pair of shorts and tried to find a top to match.  This shirt was pretty much the exact same colour and I looked at it and thought, nah no way.  Oh I will just try it on anyway.  OMG!  It fit!  It was snug but it fit!  I couldn't believe it.  I don't ever remember being size 16.  I think as a kid I went from kids clothes straight to 18.  I just am in shock.
My shorts are probably a size 20 now but because of my belly, I could probably get into a 16 or 18 if I didn't have it!
My belly seems to be the last bit to move.  Yes it is getting smaller, but it and my hips are still the biggest part of me.
Went to dinner at a seafood restaurant on the weekend with hubby.  I have been hanging out for a lobster mornay for years since our last favourite seafood restaurant closed down.  So hubby suggested we would go.  I couldn't order a half serve so had to order a full one which I knew there was no way in hell I could eat it all.  Luckily we got an early bird special so it was all half price.  I ate my half.  I was sooo full.  Really really full.  But I just wanted that lobster lol.  Hubby had to finish off the other half as well as his meal.  It was devine.
Finding food is more about filling the hole now rather than the taste.  Now I am happy to have a vegemite sandwich for lunch.  Before I would have been no way, thats not enough.  I want flavour.  But now because I am full up it really makes a difference.


Now just because this is my blog and I can, I am going to ask you all a huge favour.  Please if you have a spare moment, could you vote for my daughter in the B105 Little Lookers competition.  She is finalist #15.  This is to win $2000.  I have plans on what I want to do with the money if she wins but can't say anything incase she doesn't win.  Don't want to get someones hopes up!

http://www.b105.com.au/win/little-lookers/2011/finalists?selectedImage=14

Thank you in advance xxx

2nd Floor, Ladies Lingerie!

OMGG! I measured my boobage area as I know I need new over the shoulder boulder holders.  I thought if I could find out the size I need before going into the store then it would really help.
So took my measurements and put them into bra calculator site.  I am currently wearing 24E.  Which I have been wearing for years.  Yes, even since losing nearly 30kg.I would just go into the store and buy the biggest size they had.
Well according to this site, I should be in an 18E!  Wow that is 3 sizes down!  That is incredible.  Think I will be heading straight for the underwear section when I go shopping tomorrow!
Been thinking so much about my next goal.  To be 85kg by my Sydney trip (10th - 13th June) or have lost 35kg which would make me 84.1kg.  It kind of scares me,.  Isn't that weird.  Actually I am scared to see the scales drop to anything under 90kg!  I don't know why.  Maybe its just I have not experienced that size before.  Well if I have, its been a very long time ago and I don't remember!  I know I will still be me but it just seems strange.
I have even ordered some sexy pieces for private use (lol).  I can't wait to receive them.  I am definately feeling alot more confident in myself.  But then I do have my doubtful moments.  I catch a glimpse of myself in a shopfront window or a mirror and see my huge belly still.  It just doesn't seem to be shifting.  Its just depressing.

Slowly but surely

Weigh in day today!  90.9kg!!!  That is 28.2kg loss.  Its definately slowed right down.  Its about half a kilo a week.  It seems so little to me, it just doesn't seem to be coming off fast enough.  I know realistically that is fantastic weight loss.  But I am so impatient.  I want everything YESTERDAY.
I am really hoping to reach my goal of 85kg by the time I go to Sydney.  But I have been thinking, man I am scared about that!  I have no idea what that weight is like.  To me, that is a normal persons weight.  Ok, its still over weight but isn't it average!  I wonder what I will look like then! 
Today I am wearing my first pair of boardshorts.  I got them for $5 from a shop a few weeks that was closing down for renovations.  So I thought oh I will grab them and maybe one day I will fit in them.  Saw them today after my shower after the gym and thought, I better try them on (tags still attached).  OH MY GOD!  They fit!  Infact they are a little big in places! hahaha!  I have something to wear swimming now.
I am not sure if I have mentioned this before, but have been thinking about it again this week.  You all have probably heard people talking about dream outfits that they hope to one day be able to wear when they are thinner.  Usually ball gowns, jeans, bikini's etc.  Wanna know what mine is?  Mine is a football jersey and a wetsuit! 
I always wanted to be able to fit into a wetsuit so I could join Jase for a surf one day.  Funny thing is, I am petrified of the Ocean so I would only be wearing it on the beach!
The football jersey I have always wanted to be able to wear.  I always see these gorgeous skinny girls wearing tight little footy jerseys to the games.,  They always look so gorgeous and sexy.  I dream that one day that will be me.  A Titans Jersey of course!
I really need to get some new bra's!  Especially for Zumba,  But I tell you, I don't think there is any bra good enough to hold my puppies while doing Zumba!
Its amazing going through my wardrobe every few weeks and getting rid of things.  Even new things I have purchased are now too big!

Still hitting the gym 3 -4 times a week.  Depending on sickness, sick kids or appointments.  I am really enjoying it.

Where ever you may be let the wind run free

Church or chapel, let it rattle lol!
Well, I have been put on protein shakes by my dietician.  I am not getting enough protein in my diet.  Which would probably explain why I feel like I could bite the arse out of a cow!  So I started that.  My goodness, talk about wind!  I shall now be known as trumpet bum. lol
I am hoping it helps with the tiredness also.  I have given up the Berrocca's. I just can't stomach them anymore.  The thought of them makes my stomach turn.  So now I am on Swisse Womens Multivitamin as well as the Complex B vitamins. 
My Dietician is still very happy with my progress.  I should be losing about half a kilo a week and that seems to be the average.  Some weeks I won't lose which is very frustrating.  But I do know that I am building muscle now also with the gym.  My measurements are shrinking.  My clothes see to be growing.  Nothing fits!  Its very embarssing.  I wish I had the money to invest in a new wardrobe, especially bra's!  But I just can't do it yet. 
I have a new goal.  I want to be 85kg's by my trip to Sydney which is in June, Queens Birthday long weekend. 
I wonder what I will look like at 85kg.  I don't ever remember being that weight. 

"The Road to success is always under construction"

Feeling very frustrated

Needed to come and blog cause I am feeling very frustrated today.  The longer I think about it the worse I am getting.
I had my final free session with my Personal Trainer at the gym today.  Of course at the end he tried to get me to sign up for sessions with him at $50 a session.  Now we just don't have that kind of money.  He wanted me to do 2 a week.  I explained to him we just can't afford that.  He then said if I train with a friend its only $37.50 and he can't understand why I can't afford that! I understand that is his job and he has to get people to sign up.  But now I just feel lost.  I don't have any kind of program to work with.  I don't know if I was meant to be given something to follow or if I was supposed to remember everything he did with me over the last 3 visits.
He explained if I didn't have a trainer then a few weeks down the track my weight loss will plateau because the body will get used to the exercise and weights etc.  That might be normal for someone who hasn't had Gastric Sleeve Surgery!  I just feel very frustrated that he doesn't have any kind of understanding of my situation.
He also told me that the surgery I had hasn't guaranteed me a longer life!  He was disappointed that I had had the surgery and said I should have tried diet and exercise.  I said I have been for over 20 years and it hasn't worked.  That is why I went with this surgery.  Only regret I have is not doing it 12 months ago.  He said having the surgery doesn't guarantee I won't be hit by a bus tomorrow!
I think I will just stick to what I like to do, the treadmill, the cross trainer and the bike.  Maybe the stepper when I find some energy lol.  He was very happy I do Zumba, bloody don't care if he wasn't, I will still be doing that.  It was so much fun.
I went and bought new work out clothes today!  So excited.  Even more excited when I said to the Sales assistant that I need a Size 22 and she said, no you don't, surely!  hehehehe, that has never happened before.  Sadly, yes, the belly I still have is restricting my clothes size dropping.  I would probably be in an 18 pants if it wasn't for my belly.
I had to get new socks and undies too.  I was wearing Billies socks cause I just don't have any, besides bedsocks lol.  So new jocks and socks here I come!  At least now I can shake my booty without my knickers ending up down around my ankles.

Watching what I eat!

Not me, others!  I feel a bit like I am on show when I eat now.  I feel people are watching me to actually see how much I do eat.  Maybe in the hope they catch me out doing something wrong! lol  Its strange.  Maybe its just me. 
We went to dinner friday night and I ordered a kids mexican meatballs.  It came with 2 gold ball size meatballs on this bed of rice.  All I could eat was one of the meatballs, with a tiny bit of rice.  When the waitress came to take the plate she asked me if that was all I was eating.  When I said yes that is all I can fit, she asked if I was unwell! lol
I then explained to her the surgery I had and she was amazed at how little I eat before feeling full.
I went to lunch for a friends birthday yesterday.  I ordered a kids fish and chips.  I ate the 2 small pieces of fish and about 6 chips.  (They didn't give me my soft drink and icecream :( , but I wouldn't have been able to fit it anyway lol).
I can make a sandwich and all I will eat is a quarter of it.  I may be able to eat another quarter a bit later. 
I have been feeling sooo tired.  And my mood!  Boy oh boy!  Don't cross me at around 3pm!  I went to the chemist to speak to them to see if there was another multivitamin I should be taking.  All I take was a Berrocca a day, which had been prescribed by the dietician.  That is supposed to have all that you need in it.  But it isn't enough.  I am also losing alot of hair.  So the chemist gave me Complex B vitamins.  I hope they kick on soon!

Zumba Zumba Zumba!

I did my first Zumba class this week!  Wow, that was fun!  But bloody hilarious too! hehehe!  My head, feet and body were all dancing to their own beat!  Infact I think my body is still moving to something entirely different!  I just couldnt pick up the moves!  But like that instructor said, as long as I keep moving. I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing when she gets the moves wrong in her performance with Johnny and she improvises.  That was me lol.
We also were evacuated from the gym half way through due to a fire alarm going off.  I swear I had nothing to do with that!  Something to do with the business next door.  But it was actually a good icebreaker for me, those that were in the zumba class all stood together and had a laugh.  The instructor came and spoke to me and told me I was doing really well.  She was really lovely when I first go there.  Came up and introduced herself and gave me some pointers.  She is an energetic little mexican jumping bean let me tell you!
Had another assessment with my trainer today.  Still I couldn't get through to him as to how little I eat.  He wants me to add a green tea to my diet.  Mate, I struggle to get enough water in let alone trying to fit in another cup of tea.  He wants me to sacrifice my morning cup of tea for a green tea!  Hell will freeze over before that happens! hehehe!  I think I may need to print out some info on the surgery for him so he understands I am not a standard training case.
Lost another 1.4kg this week.  Which is great.  I know it will slow down again when I start building muscle.  Apparantly I have abs somewhere under my belly!  Well we worked on them today.  Actually the trainer called it my core.  All I could think of was mmmmm Apple lol.  Actually I must have been hungry.  I went to the receptionist at the gym and asked if she had a menu I could take home.  What I was actually after was a timetable lol.  Yep , think it was time for lunch.
Had some very exciting news today, can't say anything else yet, but watch this space!

You have to believe ur going to win or what's the point of getting out of bed - Harry Kewell