Monday, November 29, 2010

Chicken Noodle Soup

I haven't had much to say so haven't really been posting.  Life is just normal day to day, fighting kids, screaming parents, barking dogs!
I am really enjoying the soft moist stage!  Lots of gravy involved, who wouldn't love lots of gravy lol
I bought myself these little easyeats meals mashed potato , gravy and beef or meatloaf or chicken.  I think they were about $4 each.  Really yummy and easy, although I only ate 2 spoonfuls lol!
Today I didn't know what to have, so just got myself a cup of chicken noodle soup.  8 weeks ago if I had of got myself a cup of soup for lunch, I would have been pulling my hair out and raiding the fridge for something else.  Now I can't even finish the whole cup before it goes stone cold.  Its amazing how fast I feel full.
I am trying to really concentrate on drinking more water.  But the more water I drink, the less "food" I can fit.  So I have to be very careful.
I was very naughty on the weekend.  We went camping and of course the campfire snacks were pulled out.  There was marshmellows for toasting and cheezels.  Well I wasn't game enough to try a marshmellow but I sucked on a couple of Cheezels!  They were so yummy!  Mind you, 2 cheezels filled me up so I had no room left for the can of bundy I had had 2 sips of! lol 
Today I just couldnt' get a Hungry Jacks whopper with cheese off my mind!  Yum, I could really go one of them.  Also someone mentioned Sandwiches.  What I wouldn't give to wrap my gums around a yummy Chicken, Avocado and Salad sandwich!  Even the girls vegemite sandwiches look devine! lol
My clothes are all getting so so big on me.  But due to my large tummy area, I can't go down a size yet.  That makes me all out of proportion.  Plus I can't justify spending any money yet on new clothes, afterall, I will only need to get more again in a few weeks.  It seems pointless to me.  I have found a few items I have had to put away because they are just way too big.
I held up a pair of my shorts last night, like they do in after photos, and my god, you could show a movie on the back of them my backside was so big!  It just never occured to me before how big they were.
Jason told me the other night he really notices the difference.  That was really nice and meant alot to me.  He is a man of very few words and I believed him.  I told him I can't see it yet.  He said that is because I see myself everyday.  Well so does he lol!
Well best get back to my day job, Rosie is climbing onto the toy box, Danni is telling me she is "hungy" for the 80th time this morning!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Told you I was surrounded by Stupid People!

My fear came true, Every time I have gone out in public I have walked with my arms infront of my stomach kind of protecting it from being bumped etc. Its amazing how close people actually get to you!
Well I must have let my guard down yesterday. Hubby and I took the kids to the local big BP service Centre for lunch. There is a McDonalds there and a playground so we were going to leet them have a run around. I got the family all their McDonalds and then went back inside to find something I could have. I was going to get a chocolate thickshake but I thought, no do the right thing, find something a little more nutritional. Only thing I could find was a juice bar so though yep yum I will have a mango smoothie.
I was standing behind the guy being served and I had given plenty of room between us. Making sure I am not walked into. Well I think what happened is someone wanted to get past behind me so I stepped forward to let them through but then must not have stepped back far enough (not sure if 5 km's away would have been enough room!). So the guy who had just been served took this massive step back and swung around at the same time. He hit me straight in the stomach with his arm and stood on my foot. I collapsed on the ground and burst into tears. He was very apologetic, didn't mean it etc. I know he didn't but Cheese & Whiskers, how much room do you need.
I got up and walked out to my husband in tears. It hurt like hell. All I could think was oh my god have I done damage inside. We packed up the kids and took them home. I was so angry that I had let my guard down. I went straight to bed in pain and slept for a couple of hours.
The guy probably thought I was a right looney and I was over reacting but he didn't know what was going on inside! I feel like I need to have a huge neon flashing sign above my head to make sure people take care around me.
I am ok today, it was a little tender yesterday afternoon. Felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It really knocked the wind out of me!

Looking forward to seeing my Dietician on Wednesday, hoping she will say I can move to mushies.  Mind you, I still don't know the difference lol.

Enjoyed a nice meal out for Jason's birthday on Saturday night.  I had a Tom Yum Soup at Thai.  It took me over an hour to eat it.  The poor waitresses almost lost their hands every time they came to try to take the bowl away from me lol!  I don't know how many times I said "No, I am still working on it" lol.

I really need to still up my water intake.  I can feel it in myself that I am not getting enough also.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I am surrounded by stupid people!

Well not really but it feels like it lol.  Everywhere I go people are swinging their arms in my stomach's direction or pushing their trolleys into me or their snotty nosed kids run into me.  I have to walk with my arms around me as if I am protecting my pregnant belly!
Weigh in day today.  After making Jason take my scales away from me for the week I had him bring them back today for weigh in today.  I am very happy.  Another 2.6 gone!  Which makes it 14.7 kg total since starting this journey. 
I am feeling good, back to normal.  A couple of the scars are still a little tender, but they are mainly the ones that rub on the top of my pants.  They have healed nicely though.
I really need to try to get more water in.  TMI warning, my pee is brighter than the sun lol.  So yeah, obviously not drinking enough water.
Still only having soups, although I have puree'd ones like Minestrone and beef & vegie.  Just a bit of something different.  My favourite is chicken and sweet corn soup. 
We went to Ikea for a shop and dinner last night.  I tried these meatballs and gravy everyone is always raving about.  I ordered a kids size because I knew I wouldn't be having much.  It comes with Mashed potato so I cut the meatballs up as tiny as I could, covered them with potato and the gravy.  YUM!  Me like!  So I bought a packet of the meatballs and 2 packets of gravy to try at home.
We also got a treat on the way home, I ordered a chocolate sundae, before surgery I would have eaten the ice cream first and saved the best part, the chocolate syrup til last, but because I know I won't fit it all in, I eat the syrup first lol.  The 4 spoonfuls I ate tasted so nice!  Jase got to enjoy the rest.
Nothing else to report really.  Looking forward to seeing my dietician next Wednesday where she will hopefully tell me I can move to Mushies, I honestly don't know what the difference is between puree and mushies lol!


Thought I would add my starting measurements and today's measurements also.

Start    in CM'S                       TODAY
Hips              150                    Hips     139
Waist             120                   Waist   107
Bust                136                   Bust      124
Under Bust      110                  Under    97
Arms               47                    Arms    47
Legs                 75                   Legs      71
Neck     41                              Neck     38

Monday, November 15, 2010

Life seems to be back to normal

Nothing really interesting to report.
Life has gone back to normal. I am feeling human.
I had to get Jason to hide the scales from me. I have an addiction to weighing myself. It's like a drug, sometimes a hit can make you feel good and then times it can rot your veins! I was seeing scattered results, they would go up then down then stay the same. It really plays mind games.
Finding the purée stage a bit too complicated. It just seems easier to just keep having soups. Especially when I am only eating 2 tablespoons!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Keep reminding myself it will happen

Well so much for being excited about weigh in day.  The scales haven't moved an inch since last friday.  I am heartbroken, devastated, angry, confused you name it!
Even my measurements have gone up by 1cm!  I just don't understand it.
Thought I would take some photos of myself, 12.1kg down.  Don't know how to merge the before and afters together.
AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE




I have also been constipated the last couple of days.   Well not so much constipated, I just haven't been!  I guess that could have contributed to my mood.  Well it must have cause the flood gates opened (more than once!) and I actually feel alot better. 
Probably over did it a little today.  First day at home with Rosie on my own.  She was very whingy today, so kept wanting to be picked up, was in and out of bed.  I also swept the floors so the house no longer looks like a horses stable and I folded washing.  I know I shouldn't have done so much but I feel better looking at the floors now!
Justneeded to come and let it out here. Feeling really down tonight. I wanted to make my mums birthday special. So I cooked her a traditional English roast beef and Yorkshire puddings.
It smelt amazing while it was cooking. I had a cup of soup while cooking because I was feeling hungry.
Served it all up and everyone tucked in. I tried to cook myself a can of soup. It wouldn't cook properly the pumpkin wouldn't break up properly. While I was doing that everyone kept asking me for things. Drinks, another plate here, a spoon there.
Everyone finished their meal and I was still trying to get my soup. I didn't even get to sit down with everyone. I felt like I had missed out on spending time with everyone.
I just feel like I missed out.
Then I had to wash it all up. With Jason giving me instructions in the background. I just felt like crying.
So I am in a mood tonight. I am upset the scales aren't moving. I am all but starving and nothing is happening. I just don't get it.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Running out of interesting things to say.

Nothing much to report the last few days, every day is the same.  Sip, Sip, Sip!
Saw my Surgeon and Dietician yesterday.  My surgeon said I looked "Amazing" which I was really chuffed about.  He is a man of very few words normally so to hear him say that shocked me.  I don't feel amazing yet.
My Dietician said out of the 3 patients that were done I am the one that is looking the best.  I can also move onto puree's on Saturday.  I am so excited!  can't wait to eat meat again.  I have already looked at a few recipes I can do and then whip up!
Also noticed my tongue yesterday morning.

 Hmmm thought my mouth felt like the bottom of a bird cage.  Turns out I am extremely dehydrated and also have thrush.  So on Oral medication for that, Inner Health Plus and I need to drink more!
Doing alot more farting now! hehehe!  It is bliss!
Weigh in day tomorrow, I really hope there has been some movement.
I have decided to set my goal to have lost 20 kg by Christmas.  that will get me under 100kg.

Monday, November 8, 2010

One week ago!

Can't believe surgery was a week ago.  Its gone so fast.
Feeling a little off today, not sick, not tired, just blurgh.  Feel a little anxious I think.  I can feel that I am a little tense.  I am on edge.  Just want to be by myself.
I noticed last night one of my scars doesn't look like its closed up properly.  That made me feel funny last night so that could be why I am feeling the way I am today.  I have been putting betadine on it.  I see my surgeon again tomorrow so will have it checked then.
I also see my Dietician tomorrow.  Not sure what happens there, I don't think I can go on puree's for another week yet.
Today I have had an up and go, a cup of tea, a cup of tomato soup, a small tub yoghurt and I am going to have a cup of Milo for dinner.
Remember these are all sipped throughout the whole day. I also have had 700ml water.
Things are going down slot easier today. The yoghurt hurt a little. Need to go through my recipe books to find some nice soup record.
Feeling a bit better this afternoon. Got eceryones dinner ready and on the stove waiting to be cooked.
Oh and if your still reading, funniest thing happened. I did my first fart today! Pmsl!
You have no idea how long I havexwanted to do that! I was so excited I squeaked. Then jase looked at me like I was a mad woman and then I had a laughing fit! I am so happy and relieved! Rofl

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Feeling a little more human today

Feeling so much better today, still tender around the scars but as far as energy goes and hunger, its improved alot.
As all I can eat is anything I can get through a straw, its so funny the things I can try to make fit lol!  I would kill for a hamburger, even just a juicy piece of steak.  Oh my god, I could lick the inside out of a Cobb Loaf dip lol!
But I know it will all be worth it and in time I will be able to eat again.  it just won't be as much.
It is getting a bit boring with the liquids I am having, Optifast shake, up & go, cup of soup, water, tea,.  Its hard knowing what to make sure I have so I get enough nutrients but then also want something that has a bit of flavour and excitement to it.  I am finding it hard to not drink too much water.  I have gone from always having at least 2 litres a day to now maybe 100ml if I can get it in.  Of course the soup and shake and berrocca etc has water in it but it feels weird not having a water bottle attached to me.  I have always loved my water.
I am getting in touch with so many other people that have had the same surgery and even going for it.  It is comforting to know everyone has experienced exactly what I have. 
Again, I have to thank everyone for their support and messages.  It just blows me away to know so many people actually care about me.  If friends were money, I would be a multi billionare!  (Is ther esuch a thing lol).
Well Jase has ordered Montezuma's for dinner tonight.  One of our favourite meals.  I am so jealous and its going to be hard to watch, but I will be strong.  I will sip my Strawberry Optifast shake.
(Might have to kiss Jase later just to get a taste lol)  (no wait, he will get idea's if I go anywhere near him lol)

'A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are"

Cant believe how fast the weight is coming off!

Woke up feeling a little ill. My hubby is home again. Poor thing has missed his surfs he usually gets on the weekend. I have needed him home because I can't lift anything heavy yet. Makes it a bit hard with my baby girl Rosie who I need to get in and out of bed. Hurts more when she puts her arms out to me wanting me to pick her up.
Weighed myself again this morning, another 2kg gone! 12.1kg so far! Wish I could feel it, hopefully when the swelling goes down I will feel better.
Today was slot better eating (drinking) wise. I was told to try degas tablets as it was very painful when I swallowed anything, no matter how all the sips were. Wow what a difference! So today I had an optifast shake, a berocca, cup of soup and an up &go. Each one was sipped over a 2 hour time frame. So didn't feel as hungry today.
Found dinner hard tonight, we went to mother in law Dots and she did a yummy roast. The vegies were cooked just the way I love them, burnt lol. Jase used to cut me the most well done piece of meat too. I could just taste it. But I sipped on my up & go.
Tonight Danni (3) asked me why I have bandaids on my tummy. Told her I had to get my tummy fixed.

Friday, November 5, 2010

My surgery journey

Thought I would quickly jump on now I have my computer all set up again.  Here is my journey for surgery!
Tuesday 2/11/10
Have to be at the hospital at 9am, surgeons secretary told me the day before I would be set down for surgery at 10.30am.  Fasting from midnight.
My husband and I drop our 3 girls at my mums around 7am, then leave for the hospital.  We get there at 8am, way early.  Sit in the cafe with hubby while he has breakfast and a coffee.  I am feeling so apprehensive, I don't think I could have eaten if I was allowed anyway.
Just before 9am we head up to the Admissions Centre, fill in paper work, sign papers and of course pay!
I am then told to take a seat.  Around 10am my name is called, hubby and I are taken to a room out the back and go through more info to fill in, usual quesitions, no false teeth etc.  Get weighed, put on sexy surgery outfit.  Am told they are waiting for me so nurse rushes through paperwork.

Hubby is then asked to leave and I am walked around to the waiting area, noone is there to receive me so walked back to the other office.  Nurse turns up and walks me back through to a bed.  Anasthesiest comes and asks me all the same questions again, he leaves, then another one comes in, same questions again.
The date of birth is wrong on my paperwork so that is being fixed up, I am wheeled into the theatre.  Its freezing!  Small talk between me and the anasthesists etc, they tear a hole in the side of my gown (this is where the drainage tube will be), one of the anasthesists says they just wrecked my melbourne cup dress, I ask do they like my fascinator (beautiful cap).  I then start to shake.  The anasthesists tells me he is going to give me something to help me relax, that is the last thing I remember.  It all happened so fast.  I next remember them calling my name and telling me its time to wake up.  I am very very groggy, really struggling to keep my eyes open.  I am wheeled into a ward where my hubby is waiting for me (he said it was 2.30pm).  He unpacks my things while nurses fuss over me.  They then decide to move me to a private room, so hubby repacks!

I remember having a really bad nurse looking after me, turns out she was an agency nurse so hadn't been there before, I needed to throw up, she couldn't find anything for me to throw up in, so I was given one of the cardboard containers they carry the drugs in when they give them to you.  She also tells me to sip some water, I ask her for a medicine cup because that is what has been drilled into me about making sure I don't drink too much, she tells me, oh you will just have to sip this! 
I also have on this tens machine on my legs, it pumps air into sections pulsing kind of thing, this is to prevent blood clots.  Have never had that before.
I remember getting up to go to the toilet that night.  And all I wanted to do was sleep but they did 2 hourly obs so kept being woken up, as well as an elderly man with dementia (god bless him) calling out for his deceased wife all night, :(
Wednesday 3rd
Still very groggy and tired.  All I want to do is sleep.  My mum brings my 1 year old to see me, I am very sore and on edge because she is jumping all over me, they don't stay long.  All I want to do is sleep anyway.  Had chicken soup with protein powder in it for breakfast along with some apple juice.  Gee they come and take your tray away really quickly!  I was on 30ml/half hour.  Its not easy to do, I don't think I did it right I was very apprehensive.  I was feeling hungry.
Slept on and off most of the day between ob's, got up and had an assisted shower.  Threw up some more, got a few more anti nausea shots. 
Hubby brings my other 2 girls in to see me.  Hospitals are no place for kids, they got really bored and were stressing me out.  So they didn't stay long.

Thursday 4th
Feeling better after some sleep, got up and had a shower on my own, washed my hair.  Feeling so much fresher. 
I have to go and have the Barrim swallow (sp) its disgusting, you stand up on a step with this xray machine around you, you take a gulp of the stuff then wait until they tell you to swallow it.  I had to have 3 gulps.  It is a liquorice, aniseed taste.  When I mentioned to the radiographer it was so disgusting he said "yep you will never drink oozo again!"  He also mentions all looks good on the scan but I have to wait for the doctor.
I am wheeled back to my room. lunch, more chicken soup with protein powder and a apple juice, I also get a bottle of water with every meal!  I only ended up using half of the 1st bottle I was given!  We bought the others home.
Having alot of trouble sleeping, just cant get comfortable on the bed, the part where it sits up feels like it is digging into my back.  I get up and sit in a chair for a while, then try again.  Up at 5.15 am .
Friday 5th
I get to go home today, I am showered and ready at 6am, my doctor has been and given me the ok to go home.
My mum and step father arrive just after 9am, I get the canular taken out and am discharged.  The drive home was a bit rough, my 1 year old screamed the whole way home, she was very tired.  I went straight to the lounge and dozed on and off.  My mum took my girls back to her place again and I went to bed.  Hubby got home at 3pm and mum dropped the girls back.  Feeling alot better after more sleep.
Hubby makes steak & gravy for their dinner, god it smells good, I have 2 small tip of the spoon tastes.  I am still very scared to have to much.
Had an up & go I sipped on all day, then a beef soup for dinner.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Surgery day!

Had a pretty good sleep, drug induced lol. Woke at 4am. Tossed and turned and dosed a bit more til 6am.
Billie was up, Rosie was whinging in her bed and I woke to a stranger in my bed. Lol jase is never usually there when I wake. Either he is at work or out surfing and he shaved his head last night. Looks like a new man, feel like I'm having an affair lol.
Took Rosie a while to work out who he was.
Rosie took a heap of steps last night. It was so exciting to see.
Of course all girls were perfect angels this morning. Daddy was home so he thinks I complain about nothing.
Dropped the girls at my mums, hope I haven't forgotten anything. It was hard to say goodbye but I saved the tears until I got in the car. I cried all the way to the gold coast.
We stopped to get some magazines and then got to the hospital an hour early.
We are currently sitting in a cafe while jase has a coffee and bacon and egg muffin. It's not bothering me, I don't think I could eat if I was allowed anyway.
I feel sick.
I can't help but feel selfish today. I am doing something so big. Leaving my girls for 3 nights, keeping jase busy n what should be his day off. Taking up mums time making her have the girls, making everyone think of me.