Day 5 on Opti.
You wouldn't believe the scales if I told you! I won't, I am waiting until friday. But wow! I hope my surgeon is happy in 3 weeks!
I had to put this down because I need to be held accountable. Sharing it with anyone who is reading, will hopefully guilt me into not doing it again lol!
I had 6 BBQ chips! (smiths chips)
I had just finished lunch and something snapped in me. I walked to the cupboard, thought I will just taste one. I tasted one, it even tasted like crap, but I still grabbed some more, (5 more) and ate them one by one!
I knew what I was doing, I knew it was wrong. I knew I had to stop. So I did. I walked away and had a glass of water. But then my brain was saying go again, go on, go again. I shut that arsehole up with my shake! hehehehe!
I am disgusted in myself for breaking, but proud of myself for stopping.
I am so honoured to see I have so many followers. Thank you for sharing this with me. I don't know who else is reading but hi and thank you. I am waking up to messages everyday from so many people. It is really helping.
I am sharing this journey with a friend who I have known for 5 years. We have never met in person. But we have learnt alot about each other over the years. We got to know each other through a Biggest Loser TV show forum. She is having lap band surgery 2 weeks after I have my sleeve. I hope together her and I can get through this and be an inspiration to each other. You know who you are and you know I am here for you as much as you have been for me. We have both been talking and have questioned why, 5 years later we are both still in the same boat. (all be it a big one!). Each year after applying to be contestants on THe Biggest loser, we would be rejected and both of us would say, Well we will do this on our own, we don't need a TV show. Well, we haven't! But this is our time to shine!
This afternoon driving home from picking my daughter up from school, I saw a cloud in the sky shaped like a swan. I took it as an omen (from ugly duckling to a beautiful swan). I also saw it as a message from Heaven. Tomorrow is the 9th Anniversary of losing my Father In Law.
So here is a warning, tomorrow I am going out to lunch with my Mother In Law and Sister In law to play the pokies (same thing we do every year to remember FIL). I will be eating something I am not supposed to! As much as I will do my best to have the healthiest option I can, keep in mind, we will be at a club and there are limited options!
Today is 2 weeks until my babies 1st birthday, it is also 3 weeks until my surgery date!
Well I am off to hopefully get a full nights sleep. The almost 1 year old has been waking up between 2am and 3am every morning for about 7 weeks now! Hubby and I are exhausted!
Tut Tut on the chippies, but well done for not going back for more!!! Proud of you......NOw, make sure you have something healthy tomorrow, dont spoil it now you are doing soooooooooooo well...........xxx
ReplyDeleteWell your not alone...I to will confess. Today I ate the legs of one of Mia's Ginger Bread man....like you I too was proud I stopped....
ReplyDeleteI should run a wager on your weightloss numbers....I think it could be as high as 8 - 9 kg.....
xxxxx
look forwards not backwards.
ReplyDeletethink about how you will feel in 6 weeks when you are 11kg lighter... or more
helpful food hint for today.....
cut onions into wedges and bake at about 180 until crispy..... they are supposed to crunch like chips....
the way i did my 11 weeks of modified opti (allergy to soy so no opti for me.)
2 cups veg
1 slice bread
2 hard eggs...
and liquids...
i had to make lettuce a freebie... not dressing not oil just lettuce mixes.... rocket and spinach were the best.....
was to think about how i would feel if after all i had t go through i was opened up and.... to much fat around liver.... no reduction of fat on liver.... and surgeon had to close again without sleeve.
$5k down the drain and all that time and effort for nothing...
and it does happen.
can you imagine how you would feel????
not trying to make you feel bad.... but determined!!!!
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!
try lemon lime and bitters cordial and just drink soooooo much you don't have time to feel hungry.
make food that you don't like for your family. lol mine had a lot of food that they were not keen on because i could not even stand to taste it!!!!
take care of you.
Honey there is no need to put the guilts on you. By the sound of it your giving yourself a hard enough time over 6 chips.
ReplyDeleteYou did what was right at the time. The moment has passed.
Your body needs your love honey! Guilt will only harm your body even more!!
Lots of love to yourself!!
Good on your for being so open and honest!!
Big hugs
-xox-
Be proud of yourself Trace, we all have a slip up now and then, but think to yourself..u had 6 chips.. not the whole entire packet hunni, your willpower won in the end, your determination will get you there.. Here anytime if you need me, I support you 1000000000000000000% and know you will achieve what you started out to do. xox
ReplyDelete