The day before the rest of my life

Thursday 7th October 2010
Today is the day before the rest of my life.  Tomorrow I start the process of preparing my body for Gastric Sleeve Surgery.
I am obese, there is no denying it.
Anyone who knows me, I mean really knows me, knows how much I have tried to lose weight the usual way.  Diet, exercise, watching what I eat, Tony Ferguson, Weight Watcher, Soup Diet, Water Diet, Atkins Diet, CSIRO diet.
I have had small losses, and have put back what I lost and more or fallen pregnant!
This is my last chance to survive and be here for my girls and my husband.
My surgery date is booked for November 2nd.  I am completely terrified I will die on the table.  I am terrified something will go wrong and I will need treatment for the rest of my life.
I have PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Sydndrome.  I have been fighting a losing battle with my weight loss attempts.
I am very excited what the future holds if surgery goes smoothly.  I am excited about having energy for my girls, energy for my husband and energy for my house!  Yes I know, I said House!  I have no motivation for playing, housework etc.
I haven't really had a huge major last pig out day.
Had a nice day with some of my friends from Mumz (a Parenting forum I am a member of) and I have cooked a nice Roast Lamb.
I am sitting here savouring my last can of bundy for at least 3 months.  I will be on a limited diet for the next 12 weeks, be it the Optifast and then after surgery, liquids only, then puree, then soft food etc.
It may be only food and alcohol to some people, but these are my vices so I will enjoy them while I can.